Let me start by saying, I’m not here to tell anyone how to plan their wedding. I’m not the wedding police. That’s not my job. What follows are just my honest thoughts, based on years of working at weddings week in, week out. I see the trends. I feel the shifts. And I want to offer a perspective that helps couples protect the experience—not because they’re doing anything wrong, but because there’s so much being thrown at them these days.

Phones, Pressure, and the Performative Wedding

Phones aren’t just in the background anymore—they’re everywhere. Guests filming the speeches. A sea of screens glowing as the bride walks down the aisle. Everyone watching the first dance through their screens, rather than with their eyes.

And I want to be clear, I don’t blame guests for wanting to capture the moment. It’s instinctive. We’re so used to reaching for our phones that it’s second nature now. It’s part of the world we live in. Most people just want to help document the day or grab a little memory for themselves. I get it.

But when you take a step back and see how much of it is happening, and how often, it starts to feel like something’s being lost in the process.
Not just visually, but emotionally.

What I find myself wondering is this: how many of those clips actually get watched again?
How many of the photos guests take ever leave their phone gallery?
A few might get posted to Instagram or dropped in a WhatsApp group… but most end up buried. Lost in the scroll, four hundred images deep between holiday snaps and screenshots of recipes.

Because so much of life now is being recorded, but hardly any of it is being revisited.

We’re surrounded by cameras, yet we’re not fully in the moment.
It’s not about blaming people for filming.
It’s about noticing how easy it is to miss what’s right in front of us when we’re constantly trying to capture it.

I’ve often looked at an amazing image I’ve snapped (say during the first dance) and thought, that image would have so much more life in it if all the guests were looking and smiling at the couple, rather than half the guests looking into their phones.

What Is a Wedding Content Creator?

The wedding content creator is the newest thing on the market in the world of weddings. It is someone hired to shoot mobile phone footage for social media—usually vertical video, edited for stories, reels, or TikTok. They’re not a photographer or videographer. Their job is to capture “candid” clips of your day and turn them into behind-the-scenes highlights. No professional gear or editing, just fast content.

It can sound appealing: fast edits, extra angles, more content to share.
But what purpose does it serve? And should you hire a wedding content creator at all?

That depends on what matters most to you: more content or more calm?

Should I Hire a Wedding Content Creator? A Photographer’s Perspective

Here’s my honest take:

Couples are asking this more often: “Should I hire a wedding content creator alongside my photographer and videographer?”

If you’re already feeling pressure to keep up with what other couples are doing, or you find yourself planning your day around what will look good online, then it’s worth pausing. A content creator might add to that pressure—not take it away.

If your goal is to be fully present and to soak it all in, having another camera in your face might pull you out of the moment more than it adds to it.

A lot of photographers and videographers worry about content creators (in fact, some have it in their contracts that they won’t work alongside one). And I think it boils down to this: Anyone with a smartphone and a social media account can call themselves a content creator – but that doesn’t mean they understand weddings. They don’t always know how to work around a ceremony without being intrusive. We worry that they will just walk into the aisle and spoil your professional photo & film. They often haven’t learned the etiquette that comes with being a trusted professional on one of the most emotionally loaded days of someone’s life. And that lack of experience can cause friction – not just with other suppliers, but with the very couple they’re meant to be supporting.

Unlike photographers or videographers, who can work from a respectful distance with longer lenses, content creators filming on phones often have to be physically much closer to the couple, which can shift the energy of a moment without meaning to.

And this isn’t me just bashing content creators. I wouldn’t have one at my wedding, and this might just be me sounding like a middle aged man shouting at the clouds, personally I don’t get the appeal. But the reason they exist is because they’ve found a gap in the market – some people obviously like what they bring to the table.

A real-life story for you now. I was speaking to a lady I know in the park the other day, our dogs get on well, and she was telling me all about how wonderful her son’s wedding day was. The only thing, she said, that spoilt it for the happy couple was that in the moments that should have felt intimate (ie, Father of Bride seeing his little girl in her wedding dress for the first time) they felt like they couldn’t really enjoy and get lost in the moment, with not just a photographer and videographer, but also a content creator all with lenses in their faces.

That’s what I mean about feeling like you’re performing, rather than actual feeling the moment.

As a hybrid photographer (someone who captures both photo & film, sort of like a one-man band) its more often than not just me on the wedding day – and that balance often feels better for my couples, who want a relaxed day, than a 3/4 person camera crew following them around all day. I like the fact that I can move around unobtrusively all day.

So, long story short content creators can bring value—but only if they fit with your priorities.
If you value real moments over reactive trends, consider whether another lens in the room might dilute rather than enhance your experience.

The Pressure to Perform

What used to be a personal celebration has started to feel, for many couples, like a production. And it’s not just about the presence of cameras, it’s about the expectation to deliver.

There’s an unspoken script now. You’re not just getting married. You’re expected to be charismatic. Photogenic. Composed. Grateful. Entertaining. You’re the main characters in a day that’s being consumed in real time—not just by your guests, but by your wider online audience. And that’s a lot to carry.

This pressure creeps in during the planning. You start wondering whether your venue is “Instagrammable.” Whether your outfits will photograph well. How in heavens you could afford all the florals that you see on Pinterest. Whether your guests will get the “wow” moment. You find yourself collecting content ideas before you’ve even finalised your guest list.

Then the day arrives. You smile when you’re tired. You pose when you’d rather breathe. You’re asked to hold the kiss a bit longer. Tilt your head slightly. Hug again for the phone. Your reactions become rehearsed. Your emotions become performed. And slowly, your experience of the day starts to flatten under the weight of presentation.

The irony is, none of this makes the day more memorable. It just makes it more packaged. You might even love how it looks. But will you remember how it felt?

That’s the real cost. The pressure to perform can take you out of your own story. And no conten, no matter how beautifully edited, can give that back to you.

If you’re planning a wedding, give yourself permission not to be perfect. Not everything needs to be for the camera. The messy, unscripted, emotional stuff? That’s the gold. That’s the part you’ll remember. And that’s what your photographer should be looking for – not the polished version of your day, but the true one.

Should Suppliers Be Posting Before the Couple?

It’s not just the guests or content creators. These days, every supplier is filming content. I’ve seen:

• Florists posting table layouts onto their social media before the couple has entered the room
• MUA’s pulling away a bride from enjoying a drink with her bridesmaids to do that viral “I ain’t ready yet” reel. Not for the bride. For her own social media.
• Pianists filming the bride as she walks down the aisle.

I understand the marketing pressures. I’m a photographer—I share my work too. We all need to be seen to make a living.
But there’s a difference between capturing content for the couple and using their day as content for yourself.

Before they’ve had a chance to see the tables, the cake, the details they spent months planning, it’s already out there, on social media stories and on grids. Guests haven’t sat down. Speeches haven’t been made. But the wedding has already begun its life as a brand story online.

That’s the part I struggle with. It’s their day, not our marketing campaign.

To those other suppliers out there, I’m always happy to share my images so you can concentrate on doing your job to the best of your ability rather than worrying about your grids on the day of the wedding.

How to Take Back the Moment

This isn’t a call to ban phones or stop wedding suppliers from celebrating their work.
It’s about balance. Presence. Permission to be fully in the day.

None of this is about rules or judgement. Every couple has the right to plan the day that feels right for them. The shifts, the trends, the things couples say they wish they’d done differently. If this post helps even one person reclaim a bit of presence or peace on their wedding day, it’s done its job.

So if you find yourself resonating with my words, Here are a few small shifts that can help:

1. Be honest about what matters to you

Before you get into logistics, trends or Pinterest boards, ask yourself: What do I want to remember about this day? Is it how the flowers looked, or how it felt to see your partner at the end of the aisle? That question should shape every decision—from who you hire to how you run your timeline.

2. Set tech boundaries you’re comfortable with

This doesn’t have to mean a full unplugged wedding. It can be small, gentle boundaries that help people stay present. Phones away during the ceremony. No photos during the speeches. Or even just signage that says, “Be here with us.”

You don’t need to control every guest—you just need to create a space where presence is encouraged.

3. Limit the number of people documenting

Do you really need a photographer, a videographer and a content creator? Choose people you trust to capture things without constant direction. Fewer cameras often mean more space to breathe—and less pressure to perform.

4. Talk to your suppliers

Be upfront about your priorities. Let them know you care about the experience more than the aesthetic. Ask your florist, your make-up artist, your stylist to wait until you’ve seen the room or the bouquet before they post about it.

Most suppliers will totally understand if you communicate it clearly.

5. Build in quiet time

Schedule a short pause before the reception. A walk after the ceremony. Five minutes with your partner after you’ve walked back up the aisle. These moments give you a chance to feel the day—not just move through it.

What Really Lasts

Think about your favourite memory.
Was it filmed? Was it posted?
Or did it live entirely in the moment?

That’s the kind of wedding I want to shoot.

Not a content day.
Not a production.
Just two people, their favourite humans (and doggos), and a real, honest celebration.

Because what your guests film might never be seen again.
But what they feel? That’s what stays.
That’s what’s remembered.
That’s what deserves protecting.

What Can We Do Differently As Wedding Suppliers

1. Remember whose story this is

You might have created the flowers, baked the cake, styled the space – but the story doesn’t belong to you. Hold off posting until the couple’s seen it themselves. Let them experience it first, without a phone between them and the moment. Respecting their space and their presence doesn’t stop us from doing great work. If anything, it makes the work better.

2. Ask before filming

If you’re going to record the couple or their guests, ask. Even a quick check-in with the planner or photographer can go a long way. It shows respect for the couple’s space and the work of other suppliers who are also trying to do their job.

I include this in my own pre-wedding questionnaire—asking couples whether they’re happy for me to film behind-the-scenes content, and whether I can use their images on social media or share with other suppliers after the day. It’s a small step that gives couples control and clarity, and helps everyone stay on the same page.

3. Think about timing

The morning of the wedding isn’t the time to shoot your portfolio. Don’t risk delyaing the entire wedding day schedule just so you have something to post on social media. Give people space. Focus on your work, not your feed. If you create the best experience you can for the couple, that will get you more bookings than a trending audio reel will – trust me. If you make them feel stressed on their wedding day by constantly having a phone in their face, they’ll remember that

4. Collaborate, don’t compete

The best wedding days run smoothly when suppliers work together. If you’re setting up something for your reel, make sure it’s not interrupting someone else’s shot. A little communication avoids a lot of chaos. Our job is to support the couple—not to compete for attention on their wedding day.

5. Serve before sharing

Ask yourself: does this content benefit the couple right now? Or is it for me? That doesn’t mean don’t post it—just maybe not in that moment. If we all collectively slowed down by even a few hours, the couple would feel it.

📷 And for fellow photographers and videographers…

We’re often the ones carrying the emotional weight of the day. The pressure to deliver, to create work that feels personal and polished, and now—to do it while navigating around someone else filming on their phone. It’s frustrating. And I get why some people are drawing a hard line in their contracts around content creators.

But I think there’s space for nuance. The key is clear communication and protecting the couple’s experience.

If you’re feeling the tension:

• Have the conversation early – Set expectations for how working alongside a content creator will affect your workflow and theirs.
• Don’t be afraid to assert boundaries – If someone is blocking your shot, stepping into emotional moments, or filming over your shoulder, speak up politely but firmly. We’re all there to do a job – but not all jobs are equal in responsibility.
• Stay focused on your role – You’re the one telling the story, watching the moments others miss. Trust that your work is enough. Let the content creators and guests chase the clips. You’re building something that will last decades, not 24 hours.
• Get Creative – Guests having mobile phones at weddings isn’t going anywhere. It’s part of modern day life, and that’s what we’re hired to document. Find ways of including mobile devices in a frame that helps tell the story. After all, your photos should be a reflection of how the day actually looked.

And above all—don’t let ego take over. You’re there for the couple. If something’s getting in the way of doing your job well, then talk about it. But don’t forget why you’re doing this in the first place. We’re here to document, not dictate.

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